The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but Look At This the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in cities, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sex. Many gay guys wish to find out from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, look at this now and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship additional reading failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar