The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, nearness, and wellness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't find out "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication check that uses off and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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