The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings tremendous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to incredibly tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and well-being .

But when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a number of his clients have this page fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urban areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," Continued North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options go now by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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